The leader's silent question: who sees ME?

3 keys to recognition that truly lasts

Nature is getting ready for harvest. Trees are full of ripe fruit, fields are turning gold: the result of months of steady growth. But what if you, as a leader, feel your hard work goes mostly unnoticed?

One of my coachees, a talented professional who worked his way up to the executive table, said it like this:"I used to sit on the high potential throne. I got tons of recognition. But now that I’m part of the leadership team, it’s like no one really sees what I do anymore. It really is lonely at the top."

He’s not alone. Many leaders know this feeling.The higher you climb the organizational ladder, the rarer the spontaneous recognition becomes. Sure, you might get invited on stage or receive applause at an event. But that’s often not enough to match the energy you’re putting in.

And then the doubt creeps in: Why am I doing all this? Where do I get my fuel from, now that the recognition is drying up?

The bottomless pit of external recognition

My answer as a coach?

Chasing recognition becomes a bottomless pit when you're constantly looking for it from the outside. If your idea of success depends on others' approval, you’ll stay hungry, even when your table is full.

It’s time to start harvesting for yourself.

Not by working harder or shouting louder, but by asking:

• When am I truly proud of myself?

• What does success mean to me?

I once wrote a piece for the book Women in Tech, where I shared this:

“Success is energy.” (click link for full excerpt)

For me, success is not about job titles or bonuses. It’s about flourishing. Can you use your talents fully? Are you playing a role that matters in your ecosystem? And are you still energized by it? That’s real sustainable success.

How do you give yourself recognition?

A few questions to shift your perspective:

• What is your unique role as a leader in your ecosystem?

• What gives you energy? What sparks your joy?

• What makes you proud, no matter what others think?

• How can you help others grow today? And how can you do that for yourself too?

And yes, financial stability matters. But success only feels like success when it nourishes you, not when it drains you.

3 keys to recognition that truly lasts

Recognition doesn’t have to feel like an empty well. It can become a powerful source of energy, if you are the starting point.

1. See yourself first. Notice what’s going well, appreciate it and celebrate it. By doing so, you fuel a positive cycle. That energy spreads to your team, your relationships, and your entire ecosystem.

2. Surround yourself with nourishing people. Beyond work, lean on a loving family, supportive friends and a mentor or coach who offers constructive feedback.

3. Join a network of likeminded leaders. Being in a circle of peers who understand your challenges and act as an honest mirror or sounding board is extremely valuable.

So don’t just ask: Do they see me?

Ask instead: Do I see myself? Am I surrounded by the right people and the right energy?

That’s when leadership becomes more than a climb up the ladder.It becomes a circle of growth. One where you can keep harvesting and sowing, again and again.

Not quite sure how to get started? Or curious about our Ecosystem Leadership Circle? Feel free to reach out to me at coaching@debbiebaute.com

Photo by Erik-Jan Leusink on Unsplash