A choice that wasn’t a choice: finding calm across two career paths

Bart Vanhalle (49) was balancing two large, successful careers. His schedule was overloaded, and the question that brought him to coaching was clear: do I have to choose?

What followed with Debbie Baute was not a simple time management course, but a deep, holistic journey back to himself. Bart, a fast thinker whose neurodivergent mind is constantly in motion, felt the connection with Debbie immediately. He was looking for a coach for his work, but found a facilitator for an important life decision.

Professionally, Bart was leading two lives at once. As co-founder of a thriving company in skincare products, and as a legal and strategic consultant for a construction firm, his workload was substantial.

“After the COVID period, the company grew enormously, and with that came a lot more operational work,” Bart explains. Obviously, this increased the pressure, as he continued his consulting work at the same pace.

The constant busy-ness led to one central question: did he have to choose between his two major professional passions? This pressing dilemma brought him to an executive coach.

After several introductory conversations with different coaches, Bart felt a real connection with Debbie. This was essential, as he had already explored many approaches before. This time, he wanted a more radical path.

“I was looking for someone who could peel me back to the core and help me rebuild stronger.” he says.

The unique connection, beyond quick fixes

Bart quickly recognized a strong combination in Debbie’s way of working:

• Practical leadership coaching, with experience in large international companies

• Theoretical depth, with solid knowledge to rely on

• Attention for neurodivergence, with a focus on a mind like Bart’s that is constantly active

What made the biggest difference for Bart was her way of listening.

“She didn’t just listen to the answers to her questions. She interpreted them by listening between the lines, which allowed her to ask deeper, more systemic questions.”

After that first conversation, both Bart and Debbie knew one thing: the real transformation journey could begin.

Peeling the onion and doing the work

Sessions run two to three hours, once a month. Debbie takes the time to dive deep into the work. And what happens in between is just as essential.

“If you think you’re done after just the session, you’re mistaken,” Bart says.“You are challenged to continue the work yourself. I can’t imagine this kind of trajectory having the same impact if you met every one or two weeks.”

Each session had such a strong impact that Bart kept the next day free to process.

“The day of a session, that’s the only thing on my agenda. Afterwards, I need to land and process what we worked on. Going this deep into yourself requires real effort. Debbie was truly the first total stranger I opened up to in this way.”

During one session, Debbie used a metaphor that stayed with him: this type of personal work is like peeling an onion.The outer layers are easy, but the deeper you go, the harder and more painful it becomes.

This kind of trajectory is not for leaders who are looking for a quick fix or who prefer to stay at the surface.

This became even more clear during a difficult period in his personal life. The sessions shifted towards a more holistic view of him as a person in all aspects, rather than focusing only on his professional context.

From deep red to bright green

The impact became more tangible after each session and proved to be lasting. Even now that the coaching journey has ended, Bart often reflects on what was discussed before making important decisions.

A recent example was a difficult exit conversation.

“Just today, I had to let someone go due to misconduct. Thanks to the work with Debbie, it’s now much easier for me to do that without losing myself or my values in the weight of that conversation.”

The gains are visible on different levels.

On a practical and physical level, Bart learned to regulate his body in difficult moments through breathwork and relaxation exercises.

On a deeper, systemic level:

“What I can do much better now is not lose myself in empathy as an employer. There are limits to how far I need to go in meeting an employee’s needs.”

Bart used to operate in extremes: either “deep red” and strongly results-driven, or “bright green” and fully carried by the emotions of others.

The real work for him was finding balance between himself, his company and the people around him.

“If I had to explain the experience in one sentence,” he concludes, “it has been about discovering myself. I understand myself much better now. And that allows me to relate to others much more effectively, both professionally and personally.”

Choosing is not losing

So, did Bart eventually make a choice between his two professional activities?

“Apparently, for now, I don’t have to,” he says with a smile.

The solution was not in eliminating one career, but in mastering his own system.

“I can set clearer boundaries now. What I’ve really learned is to listen to my energy. If you wake up in the morning feeling strong energy for one business and less for another activity, that’s a signal to act on.”

For now, Bart continues both, with a clear focus on his own company.

The journey has come to an end, but the growth continues. Later this year, he has scheduled a few additional sessions with Debbie to go deeper into specific themes.

He hasn’t reached his final destination yet. “But I can see the terminus,” he says with a smile.

A Debbie for every leader willing to look in the mirror

Thanks to Debbie and her 1:1 leadership journey, Bart has gone through a significant transformation, both as a person and as a leader.

When asked who would benefit most from this kind of work, his answer is clear:

“Debbie is the right coach for leaders who realize that something needs to change, and who also understand that what they are experiencing is not only caused by circumstances or others, but also by themselves. You need to be willing to work with that.”

This requires a serious investment, both in time and commitment.

“If you think you only need to account for the time of the sessions, you’re mistaken. The real value is in continuing to reflect and take action between sessions.”

Bart summarizes the financial and emotional investment clearly:

“During the journey, I never once asked myself what it had cost me. But I did ask myself several times what it had already brought me.”

Bart attributes this growth to himself and to Debbie as facilitator.

Are you standing at the edge of your next step as a leader? You can book an introductory conversation with Debbie via coaching@debbiebaute.com.